'Bad Barbara'

(Batman fan fiction influenced by and based on characters from the various 'Batman' television series, which are copyright by DC Comics.)

---
Smashing the window of the upscale clothing store, with the trap set, Joker lay in wait for Batman and Robin to arrive.

Unexpectedly, they hear the high pitched whine of a motorcycle quickly nearing their location. Suddenly the lights appeared as the speeding cycle rounded the corner, approaching the store front.

Grumbling, Joker snarled, "Drat! --- It's that stupid girl!"

Batgirl stepped from her bike and scanned the front of the store. Nearing, cautiously she stepped though the frame of the large broken window.

Snarling quietly to himself, seeing Batgirl nearing the location of his well laid trap, knowing if he waited too long his devious plan would be totally useless, grudgingly he opened the valve on the pressure tank setting on the floor in front of him.

Instantaneously a thick cloud of pale blue gas, streaming from the nearby nozzle on the end of a long hose, engulfed Batgirl. She staggered, coughing, laughing uncontrollably, then falling to the floor, as approaching sirens neared the location.


Batman arrived as the second patrol car pulled onto the scene. Seeing Batgirl staggering to the window inside the store, he rushed to her aid. Batman inquiring if she was okay and what had happened, as he swooped her up and carried her back though the window, setting her down on the hood of a nearby patrol car. Chuckling slightly, she cleared her throat and explained the situation.

Seeing two of the police officers about to enter the building, Batman shouted for no one to enter until they discover what kind of gas had been released. One officer quickly retrieved a large roll of barricade tape and cordoned off the area.

Stepping down from the fender of the patrol car, Batgirl staggered and as she started to fall, was again swooped up by Batman, who carried her to an arriving ambulance. Smiling, Batgirl remarked that she was okay, just a bit groggy. To which Batman insisted she go to the hospital to be checked. Nodding, she agreed as he laid her on the awaiting stretcher and the paramedics loaded her in and sped away towards the hospital.


Inside the store, Batman discovered a pale blue layer of sparsely scattered dust in the obvious area of the gas attack. Collecting some, he placed it in a small sample bottle. Looking farther revealed no signs of any tank or apparatus. Batman looked at the sample of the blue powdery residue and narrowed his eyes.


Later back at Joker's hideout, one of the henchmen inquired as to what they should do now. A smiling Joker replied, "If she's anything like Batman, she'll find us. He always does. --- It may take her a little longer, being a girl." To which Harley glared in his direction. Clearing his throat, with a wider smile, he remarked, "Present company excepted, of course." Bringing a bright smile across Harley's heavily painted face.

Suddenly a familiar voice came from the rafters above, "What's that? 'Being a girl' ---what is that suppose to mean?!" The lithe superhero jumped from her perch, landing in the midst of the villains.

Joker smiling, laughingly replied, "Well, actually I think you found us quicker than Batman would have." Batgirl indignantly replied, "It's about time someone noticed that."

Regardless of the drastic change in Barbara's behavior, there was still a deep seated loathing for Harley, and the feeling, of course, was mutual.

Joker looked gleefully at the two females glaring intently at each other and laughingly remarked, "Oh yeah, this is going to be fun."


Later as Batgirl made herself at home, exploring the large warehouse, one of the henchmen, standing near Joker, stepped closer and inquired if they were going to remove her mask. Smiling giddily, Joker replied, "Why would I want to do that?" Shrugging his wide shoulders the henchmen replied in his heavily slurred accent, "Don't ya wanna see who she is?" Joker then laughingly replied, "Oh, that would take the fun out of it." To which the henchman again shrugged and stepped back to his previous nearby location.

Harley stepped closer to Joker's location and inquired, "How long is she going to be here?" Joker smiling, replied, "Play nice. We didn't get Batman, but we can still have fun with her."


Batgirl walked from the shadows at the back of the warehouse, nearing Joker and Harley's location, taking a pack of cigarettes and lighter from one of the nearby goons shirt pockets, casually climbing onto a nearby crate and setting cross-legged atop it, lit a cigarette, then asked what they did for fun.

Joker smiled gleefully as Harley noticing, glared at the petite crime fighter. Joker inquired if perhaps she had something in mind. Smiling brightly, taking a drag from the cigarette, calmly exhaling, Batgirl then replied, "We could kill her." Looking towards a glaring Harley, Batgirl pursed her lips, then chuckled in amusement at Harley's obvious displeasure.

Joker smiling at the tension between the two natural enemies, feigned his disapproval as Harley turned back to look at him. Joker then stated, "Perhaps we can go out and cause some random mayhem, hmmm?"

Casually taking another drag from the cigarette, exhaling, Batgirl replied, "Whatever."


After looting and vandalizing a few shops with Joker and his gang, Batgirl decided to find some fun on her own.


While patrolling, noticing a broken skylight, Batman decided to investigate. Dropping through the opening into the large warehouse, looking, listening as he walked stealthily through the shadowy darkness.

Out of the shadows a slender figure sailed towards Batman, drop kicking him to the ground. Quickly regaining his stance, only to be hit by a quick roundhouse kick, sending him backwards into the nearby wall. The figure again leaping into the air sailing towards the capped crusader once again. Shifting quickly out of the way, as their feet slammed into the wall beside him, Batman retaliated with a hard right hook, knocking the trim opponent to the floor. Now clearly seeing his opponent in the light, which was streaming though an open doorway, Batman quietly uttered, "Barbara?"

Springing to her feet, Batgirl kicked Batman under the chin, staggering him, grabbing his batharpoon from his belt, firing it towards the ceiling and quickly ascended into the darkened rafters and out of sight.

Standing bewildered, rubbing his chin, Batman gazed upward into the empty darkness and narrowed his eyes.


Back at the mansion, Bruce discussed the incident with Dick. Baffled, Dick insisted that it couldn't have been Barbara, "There's no way, she's too --- she just wouldn't do anything like that!" Alfred refilling the coffee cups, inquired, "Are you sure it was her?"

Bruce took a sip, then replied that he was certain it was her. Dick, still unconvinced retorted, "It had to be someone wearing an outfit like her." Bruce replied, "It was her."

Unwilling to accept the fact Dick again retorted, inquiring how he could be so sure.

Bruce setting his coffee down replied, "It was her, no one has the same technique she does." Smiling, Alfred calmly interjected, "She knocked you on your butt?"

Taking a deep breath, smiling slightly, Bruce admitted the fact.

As Dick retrieved his phone and attempted to call Barbara, Alfred reminded Bruce of the recent incident with the gas, "Perhaps that has something to do with Miss Gordon's unusual behavior?"

Dick putting his phone back in his pocket, stated there was no answer at Barbara's apartment.


Bruce stood and looking at Dick stated it was time for them to go.

The pair headed for the Batcave, as Alfred followed close behind. Alfred suggested that he was going to take another look at the sample collected from the scene the night of Barbara's exposure to the gas. Bruce grabbed a spare batharpoon from a drawer, quickly attached it to his belt and dashed to the Batmobile. Alfred smiled slightly.


After a quick check of Barbara's apartment, finding no one at home, the duos next stop was Commissioner Gordon's house. Discovering the Gordon's had not seen Barbara since the night they had picked her up at the hospital and drove her home. Commissioner Gordon admitted that she was behaving a bit odd, but since she insisted she was okay, they assumed it was something that would wear off. When they called the next day, they received no answer, but just assumed she had went out.


Back at the Batcave, while testing the samples, Alfred removed his glasses, placed his hand to the side of his head and uttered, "Oh dear."

Contacting Batman, Alfred conveyed that the residue samples contained traces of some type of psychoactive chemical, similar to psilocybin, but which appeared to have been genetically modified in some uncertain way.

Hanging up, Batman stated, "We have to find Joker." Then pressed the accelerator to the floor.


Once found, crashing through the door of Joker's hideout, the pair were charged by three large goons. During the melee, Joker shouted that there was no need for violence. To which two thugs, remaining standing, quickly broke the engagement.

Seated on a large, high-backed office chair toward the back of the room, laughing, Joker then remarked, "Although I do like violence, I assume you're not here for that." Batman snarled, "Don't be so sure." Robin snarled, "Where's Batgirl?!"

Smiling amusedly, Joker looked over his shoulder as Batgirl calmly walked from the shadows behind him.

A befuddled Robin glanced at Batman, then back at Batgirl.

Joker laughingly remarked that he believed that was what they had came for.

Batman looking at Batgirl inquired if she was okay. Smiling, stepping closer to Joker's side, leaning into and placing her elbow on a giddily smiling Joker's shoulder, she replied, "Never better."

Robin stared dumbfounded, as Joker sat chuckling in glee.


Batgirl remarked, "If you two chuckleheads haven't noticed, you're seriously outnumbered --- even without my help." Smiling arrogantly, Joker pointed to Batgirl and remarked, "What she said." Then he laughed hysterically.

Robin snarled, "We're not leaving without her!" Joker glaring, retorted, "Then I guess you won't be leaving."

Looking around as several more of Joker's goons stepped from the shadows. Batman looked at Robin and said, "Let's go." Robin gazing fixed at Batman, retorted, "What?!" Batman repeated his statement and turned and started toward the door.

A perturbed Robin looked at a wickedly smiling Batgirl, then turning, followed Batman out the door.

Outside quickly catching up to Batman, Robin grabbed him by the arm and growled, "What are you doing?! We can't just leave her here, with them!"

Narrowing his eyes, pulling his arm loose from Robin's grasp, Batman continued to the car. Both in the car, Batman floored the accelerator. Robin after a brief silence, inquired calmly, "What are we doing?" Hitting the brake, skidding to a stop, shifting out of gear, Batman glared at Robin and asked, "You want to get all three of us killed?"

Robin snarled, "We can't leave her like this!" To which Batman replied, "Okay. So, we go back? We fight twenty goons, Joker and Harley" Robin interrupted, "Harley wasn't there!" Batman glared, and pointed out that just because he didn't see her was all the more reason not to do something stupid. Then he inquired, "You going to fight Barbara, knock her out and drag her home?" Robin snarled, "If I have to."

Batman paused briefly, then calmly inquired, "And the goons on the upper level with shotguns?"

Robin paused silent briefly, then replied, "I, I didn't see them." Batman put the car in gear and they continued back to the Batcave in silence.


Back at the mansion. Dick finally broke the silence, "I'm sorry, I" Bruce calmly interrupted, "You weren't paying attention to the situation, you were focused on rescuing Barbara. Nobel. But that kind of chivalry can get you killed." Dick replied, "But, what about Barbara?" Bruce replied, "She's okay, she can take care of herself. If they were going to hurt her, they already would have. If she didn't want to be there, she wouldn't be. --- We have to figure how to do this right." Dick chuckled lightly and remarked, "Harley was probably somewhere behind a fifty caliber?" Bruce looked at Dick, smiled and replied, "Now you're learning."

Bruce stated, "At least we know where they are." Dick retorted, "They won't stay there." Bruce smiled, "Of course not. That's why I put a homing device on one of the goons during the fight."

Having overheard most of the conversation, Alfred walked into the room with a couple cups of coffee, sat them on the table, smiled and exited the room.


The following night, as Dick walked to his car, he noticed a movement near the corner of the building ahead of him. Slowing, walking a bit farther over in the parking lot as he continued. Seeing the form of a person standing just around the corner of the building lighting a cigarette, as he continued. As he neared his car the person began walking towards his location. Stopping at the back of his car, he stood and watched as the person came closer.

The person walked into the field of a nearby street light and Dick easily recognized them as Barbara, who took a long drag from her cigarette, then spoke. Dick chuckled, then responded, "I didn't know you smoked." Smiling stepping closer, she replied that she didn't before, but somehow thought it was appropriate now. Dick replied, "Now?"

Chuckling softly, Barbara replied, "Now that I'm a villain." Relaxing back against his car, Dick asked her why she felt that she was a villain. Taking another drag from her cigarette she replied, "Hmm, I don't know, it just seems like it's more fun."

Dick remarked, "You know I could take you." Smiling, taking another long drag, exhaling, dropping the cigarette to the ground, squishing it with her foot, she replied, "You're not that dumb. Are you?" Dick noticed two large men move into view near the corner where Barbara had first appeared. Dick remarked, "I see you didn't come alone."

Smiling she replied, "There just to keep you from doing something stupid. --- Not because I need them."

Dick asked, "So, now your new friends know your identity? I suppose you told them who me and Bruce are." Stepping closer, smiling wickedly she replied, "Of course not, that would be too easy. I told them to stay back unless I needed their help --- which I don't." Stepping even closer to within a few feet, continuing, "And you know that, don't you?" Being close enough for Dick to notice the heavy black makeup framing her eyes, he asked, "You trying to look like Harley now?" Barbara replied, "PLEASE, I'm so much prettier than her." Stepping forward, leaning closer, dropping her voice to a sexier breathy tone, she asked, "Don't you think?"

Dick stated, "The gas is what is causing you to behave this way, let me take you to the hospital and they can fix it." Barbara laughed hysterically and replied, "Why would I want to do that? I'm enjoying my new life. ------ I was thinking, maybe you might want to come with?"

Dick sighed and replied, "No thanks, I like the other Barbara better." Glaring Barbara replied, "She's dead. So it's me or nothing." Dick stood upright and started around his car, calmly replying, "I don't think so." Then got in and drove away. Barbara calmly lit another cigarette and smiled.


Back at the mansion Dick told Bruce about the encounter, stating, "That was the hardest thing I've ever done. --- Part of me didn't care if it would have been wrong." Then chuckling dryly, he continued, "And part of me wanted to sock her." Bruce replied, reassuring him, "We'll get her back."


Later in the hallway, Alfred stepped over to Bruce and quietly informed him that he believed he may have a solution to the problem.

Down in the Batcave Alfred explained that the psilocybin had been altered by adding a protein at the molecular level, which not only altered the effects, but allowed it to remain in a person's system much longer, perhaps indefinitely, "I believe using an enzyme will break the compound, neutralizing it, and hopefully the effects."

Picking up a vial containing the enzyme solution, Alfred continued, explaining that if put in a dart, one would be able to inject it from a safe distance. Bruce asked how long it would take to reverse the effects. Alfred replied that it should be no more than a few minutes at the most. Bruce pondered, then inquired if one could make a dart small enough to not be easily noticed. Scratching his chin, Alfred replied that he could, but explained, "You would need to hit an exposed area of Miss Gordon's skin. It would never penetrate any kind of fabric, and certainly not her tough body suit."


Arriving behind the warehouse, Batman took the dart gun from the compartment. Robin stated, "You know I'm a better shot." Batman replied, as he handed the gun to Robin, "That's why I was going have you do it."

Quickly scaling the side of the warehouse, Robin moved to an open window on the second floor and entered. Batman circled around to a side door and waited for Robin's signal. After a few minutes, hearing a crashing within the warehouse, he kicked in the door, entered and was charged by several of Joker's goons.

Robin threw a second henchman from the upper level and attacked a charging third.


Grabbing Joker as he attempted to escape, Batman wheeled him around by one arm, forcing him to the floor.

As Batman was subduing Joker, Joker growled, "Batgirl, a little help here!"

Quickly approaching, dropping with one knee on Joker's back, Batgirl snarled, "I don't think so!" and clamped her batcuffs onto his wrists. Batman, grinning slightly, remarked, "It's good to have you back." Smiling, Batgirl replied, that it was good to be back.


Since Robin was still engaging a pair of Joker's goons. Batman directed Batgirl's attention toward a fleeing Harley, as she exited a side door. Smiling brightly, Batgirl dashed through the door behind her. Quickly overtaking Harley, Batgirl grabbed the fleeing villain by one of her ponytails and flung her to the ground. Not to surrender without a fight, Harley sprang to her feet and charged the superhero. Batgirl delivered a crushing roundhouse kick to Harley's midsection, then pirouetting, delivered a second to Harley's back, knocking her forward into a pile of trash bags. Now furious, Harley sprang to her feet, cursing like a drunken sailor, wheeling around. Batgirl delivered a sharp kick to Harley's chin, knocking her unconscious back into the pile of trash.

Hearing a familiar chuckle, Batgirl turned to see Robin standing in the doorway, holding the dart gun at his side. Robin remarked, "I take it you two never bonded?" Rubbing the side of her neck, Batgirl smiled.

Within minutes the police arrived to take the group of villains into custody.

Walking back to the Batmobile, a giggling Batgirl staggered into Robin, loosing her balance as Robin quickly caught her before she fell. Helping the giddy Batgirl to the car, noticing Batman smiling, Robin inquired, "She's going to be okay?" Batman nodded and stated that Alfred said there could be some side effects, but they would wear off.


A few days later, at the mansion, talking with Barbara, Dick admitted, "I couldn't stand the idea of you hanging around with that bunch."

Smiling amusedly, Barbara inquired, "Jealous?" Dick retorted, "Of Joker?!" Still smiling, Barbara leaned closer into Dick and remarked, "Nothing happened. --- I was more interested in doing other things that I normally shouldn't. --- I seem to remember propositioning you. --- You could have easily taken advantage of me, but you didn't." Smiling, Dick remarked, "I didn't care for your tobacco breath." Chuckling, she then replied, "Oh, don't remind me. Those things are horrible; my mouth still tastes like an ashtray."


Passing Bruce on her way out, Barbara thanked him once again, then glancing around, opening her purse, stealthily retrieved his batharpoon and quietly stated, "I believe this is yours."


Bruce made his way to the Batcave, passing Alfred dusting in the hallway whom smiled to himself and continued dusting.


THE END
(original story Copyright © 2022 Theron Jackson)

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. The characters and incidents portrayed and names used herein are fictitious and any similarity to the name, character or history of any person, location, building, event or product is entirely coincidental and unintentional.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Another blog

Instant Coffee Mocktail